two in one day!!

New Fave Song

New Fave thing to laugh at/impersonate.

long time no see

i heart customers.

i heart them because they make me laugh.

today  a small dog was tied up outside.  happens often. we dont allow dogs in the cafe (big surprise?  no we serve food.)

two middle aged women (obvs with lots of time since they were in the cafe at 1pm and NOT at work) came up to the counter concerned for the puppy who was shivering. (doubtful since i was just out there 10min prior and the lil dude seemed alright to me)

i explained there wasnt much to be done because the police dont handle animals left unattended unless it is really really cold or really really hot.

they decided to take it upon themselves and ask every person in the cafe if it is their dog outside and tell them to take care if it because the poor puppy is cold.

one of the customers actually said

"imagine if you or i were that poor dog....left alone in the cold"  she stares at me with a very concerned look waiting for me to share in her disgust and concern.  

sorry lady i just can't.  the dog seems fine to me.  sure it is only 55, but dude it's a dog it always has a coat on!

while the one customer is on a man hunt for the owner of the dog, they other customer lady asks me for a sweatshirt from the lost and found.  i walk away rolling my eyes, muttering jesus christ.

i grab her a yellow zip up fleece.

imagine a 15lb dog wearing a large men's yellow zip up fleece.  ri-dic-u-lous!

this story has a happy ending because the owners of the dog were found and kindly returned the lost yellow zip up fleece with no mention of the incident to me.  thank fucking god!

custies say the darndest things

at register talking to a co-worker when a customer walks up.

me: what's the key to a long life?

co-worker: swimming

me: ahhhh

custie: and drugs.

me: i dont know about that.

custie: yup 

me: why don't you go down to the north ave bridge and ask a local crack head if drugs are the key to a long life, b/c im pretty sure they won't be living that long.

custie: crack is low end, im talking about high end drugs.

me: oh.

co-worker laughs and asks the custie what he wants.

 

********

this didn't happen to me but it happened to someone else at my work.  our fly sit. is o/c right now.  what do people expect. there is food sitting out all day, doors are constantly being opened and closed and the cafe is right on the lake! 

but no people expect there to be absolutely no flies.  dude, flies are a part of life! get over it.  if we weren't a society obsessed with germs and cleanliness maybe a couple flies wouldn't warrant bitching out a coworker.

the funniest thing a custie has said about the flies was from a middle aged female (they always complain).  she said she came to our cafe on her vacation and she is now spending it swatting flies.  she claimed "flies are ruining my vacation"  and asked my co-worker if she'd want to eat here under these conditions.

sorry lady, but we not only have to eat here, but we have to work here.  so chill i don't feel sorry for you.  

im never moving to a third world country

a water pipe broke near my work yesterday.

the city turned the water off last night around 11pm.

went to work this am at 6 prepared for the worse.  it was as bad as i thought.

we had to have coffee brewed at other cafes and someone drove it down.  we also had to have water and ice brought to us.

no bathrooms.  no hand washing.  no water to drink. 

it is like working at a factory in a third world country.  a sticky, coffee ground covered factory.

customers were difficult.  employees were frustrated and stressed.  the store was a complete mess at all times with empty coffee cambros (giant dispensers of liquid items), stacks of dirty dishes, sticky/coffee messes every where.

even after explaining  to customers why they couldn't have a mug for here or why they couldnt use the bathroom, they'd still ask for something that need water.....like a cup of ice water.

stupidity was at an all time high today.

general rules thrown out the window.

level of friendliness/politeness/concern for customer's satisfaction at an all time low.

i left work at 3 and all the city workers had done was dig a hole where the pipe broke and then cover the hole back up.  

looks like my fellow employees will have to do this all over again tomorrow.  

customers are funny

a co-worker of mine and i look very similar.  similar hair cut/color/style, both have gauged ears, freckles.  i guess we could pass as sisters.

more than once customers at our work have confused the two of us.  and called one by the wrong name, or claimed to have seen us somewhere we wouldn't be.

today was a pretty good one.  im standing next to her as a male customer orders coffee.

customer: are you two sisters?

me: yes

co-worker: no

me: twins.

customer: identical or fraternal?

me: identical.

customer: thought so.

a lot of you know the girl im talking about.  and i guess we could pass as sisters, but twins and identical at that? no f'ing way.

what's wrong with america?

someone very close to me has a mildly serious medical condition.  this person needs regular check-ups to monitor the condition.

unfortunately this person also has un-stable insurance available.  meaning companies are often changed, income status is often fluctuating, and coverage is changing.

i don't believe in the medical community.  i try to avoid antibiotics at all costs. i treat my self the most natural way i can for colds, the flu, allergies, etc.  i dont trust most doctors and think a lot of time they are ordering tests/medications for their own benefit(monetary or covering their ass).

a good example was when i saw a doctor for this awful cough i had for a couple weeks.  i only went because it would wake me up several times during the night.  the doctor told me i either had allergies or a cold and prescribed me medications for both.  i got neither.

this person real close to me had a check-up 2 and a half months ago.  it was discovered that a procedure was needed for the prevention of cancer.  this is the second time this person has needed this procedure.  

but because of our awesome medical system here in america this person has had to cancel insurance for a month, switch doctors, and switch insurance.  a clinic failed to inform them of the needed medical forms, forcing the cancellation of an appointment.  the "new" doctor wants to re-do the check up for her own records.  even though they had it done recently and it shows they are at high risk for cancer unless the procedure is done soon.

in the end this person will have to wait three months to get the procedure because of all the paper work that needs to be completed over and over again for the doctor's sake.  

what about our sake?  what about our safety?  when did doctors stop caring about the health of their patients and start caring only about money?

that is why doctor's should be paid less. professions in the health field and law can draw the wrong people.  it can lure those who are hungry money into a career that needs people who are in it for the good of others, not themselves.

IF this person ends up having cancer I don't know what I will do.  But I will take serious action.

I know you're busy

on register at work.  line of at least 20 people.  sunday always means stupid customers.  here is an especially asshole encounter.

customer: i know you're busy, but how does that thing in your nose work?

me: *smiles and says nothing (are you fucking serious? how rude can you be?)

customer: it looks like a staple, does it go all the way through?

me: yea, it's a staple.(yea jackass, i put a staple through my nose)

customer: is it inside your nose?

me: yea, it's horseshoe shaped.can we just stop talking about it?

customer2: it must hurt to take it in and out?

me: nope. if it hurt, do you think i'd have it?

customer: where's my iced tea?

me: at the end of the counter.where i already told you it would be.  nice button up tucked into your jeans, fucker.

this is def one of those times i wish it was socially acceptable to tell people "go fuck yourself" when they were acting like an asshole.

customer stories

this weekend was busy at alterra.

here are a few choice customer interactions.

customer: got any sort of energy drink?

me: coffee?

customer: yea...(laughs). (turns to 10 yr old boy) want anything else?  

me: your sandwich comes with chips; plain, salt and vinegar or jalapeno.

customer: yea

me: your sandwich comes with chips, which ones do you want?

customer: what are my choices?

me: plain, salt and vinegar, jalapeno (real slow and over pronounced)

customer: plain salt.

me: there are three choices.  plain (dramatic pause) comma (hand gestures) salt and vinegar (dramatic pause) comma (more hand gestures) or (real loud and over pronounced) jalapeno

customer: plain

customer's friend: i'll have a turkey club.

me: your sandwhich comes with a choice of chips.

customer's friend: what kind?  

  

customer: do you have a garbage back there? (holding up a plastic cup)

me: no. (smiles)

customer: (laughs) yea yea, i guess that was a stupid question which deserves a stupid answer.

me: (smiles and grabs the cup)

my house

that's not really my house....

but here are reasons i love my apartment building.

1. one of six working  pay phones exists across the street from my building. which means half of the east side looking to do drug deals hangs out around my street.  (explains why mine and patrick's bikes were stolen)

2.  there is a man hired by the renting company whose sole job is to vacuum the hallways, mop the basement, and hold the door open for me when i attempt to carry my bike into the building.

3.  this man (i assume) also puts glade plug-ins in the sockets of the hallways so our building doesn't smell like food and people and garbage like most apartment buildings.

4.  people say hi to you and small talk with you.  granted i hate small talk, but it's nice to be acknowledged.

5.  there are no screens on our windows so threatening patrick with the idea of me throwing his "babies" (aka xbox 360 and playstation 3) out the window is that much more believable.

6.  one of the tenants sits on the front steps doing random things. talking on her phone, petting her dog, painting her toenails.  

7.  douchebags spill their iced coffee from starbucks in the elevator, right in front of the door where everyone will step in it and don't bother to clean it up.

8.  the elevator never goes straight to the basement.  it always stops on the first floor for at least thirty seconds.

9.  people leave mats outside their door and shoes and they never get stolen.

summer so far

my summer is turning out to be pretty rad.

my internship is awesome.  well the training is awesome so far.

there are nine of us total.  i adore three.  am cool with two.  ok with three.  no hate, yet.

patrick and i actually get to spend time together. and it's been awesome.

i see more of my friends (except brandy for some weird reason....why is that brandy?)

emily and evan are getting married in a year and i get to be in the wedding!!!!

only crap thing that happened so far is mine and patrick's bikes were stolen a couple weeks ago.  we both have since obtained new bikes, but still it was a big bummer.

this week:

-kick ball

-work work work for three days in a row (its going to be rough)

-three on friday? floaties and bathing suits?

-brunch at comet

-KAYLEIGH!!!!

it's been awhile

i'm so close to being done.

so so so close.

so close that i have laxed in my duties as a student teacher.  i went to class in jeans and a fleece (yes i own fleece, get over it).  i didnt write up a formal lesson plan.  and the entire time i was biking to school i kept thinking today my professor will show up.

and he did.

i about shit a brick.  instantly my back is hot and i panic.  

should i write a lesson plan quick for the last three days?

should i explain why i am dressed down (dirty jeans, fleece, old tennis shoes)?

lie. truth. lie. truth.

truth.  but not freely offered. only given if asked.

as students file into the classroom, i stall them by handing out grade reports and pull certain "trouble" students aside bribing them with candy if they behave today.  

me: please please please watch your language today

student: why? (smirking)

me: my professor is here

student: oh....

me: if you can go the entire hour without swearing then i will give you candy

student: (laughs) ok miss burke

bribing a success.

after class my professor asks me general "how are you doing?" questions and leaves. 

Now it's time for a job.  But I have a huge decision to make first.

do i buy a car?  

if i don't then i need a job close.

if i do then i can get a job anywhere.

if i dont then i will potentially be saving a lot of money and save for when i can really afford a car.

if i do i will have to get a good job and have no money.

do i. or dont i.

coffeeeee

If you don't drink coffee or have never worked in a coffee shop this post will not make sense.

Here are some of my favorite requests/questions from customers:

-Can I have a no foam cappuccino? (the whole point of a cappuccino is to have foam...so no you can't)

-Is there ice cream in the mocha shake? (shake usually implies ice cream)

-Can I have a small EXpresso? (it's ESpresso, and it doesn't come in sm, med, large.)

-Can I have a regular drink? (what's a regular drink?  you know a non-coffee drink...oohhh)

-How are your beans baked? (beans as in coffee beans are roasted, not baked fuck head)

Oh customers, how you amuse me.

i'm sneaky

i have one thing left to do for college.

write a 5-10pg paper on the importance of the nature of science.

i need to read articles from science journals circa 2004.  

went to the library, to find the journals.  one was missing, so i had the bright idea to look at the racks of books that needed to be put back.

i found it, but it was shoved in a middle shelf and the stacks were real close.  i could hear someone sorting more books in a room ten feet away and knew at any moment he/she could come out and find me "stealing" a book from their extremely organized racks.

i crouched down, my heavy messenger bag sliding off my shoulder and jerked me even further forward.  every second i was looking over my shoulder waiting for the book sorter to come out and find me.

i grasped the binding and tried to carefully pull it from the shelf.  it was so tightly packed in that it caused two other books to crash to the ground.  there was no way for me to easily put the fallen books back , so i left them on the ground.

i rule at breaking rules.

i'm angry

i know when i am angry/upset/worried/etc even before my brain knows.

my back feels hot and burned, like a sunburn.

it started once i started meds.  so weird.

it happened a couple times today.  once it was funny. once it was sad.

funny time:

i went to mayfair to buy a swimsuit.  i dont own one and need one to be lifeguard certified.

they have a dumb rule that after 6 you need to be 18 to go to the mall alone.

i am on the phone with brandy when a security guard asks me if i'm 18

me: "yes"

sg: "can i see some id?"

me: "no...im 26, seriously"

sg: "ma'am, can i see some id?"

me: "fine...but you're gonna feel like an asshole when you realize im 26"

shows him my license, walk away.

20 min later walk out of boston store.

stopped by a diff security guard who tells me i am not allowed in the mall.

me: "what?"

sg2: "i was told you aren't allowed in the mall and have to leave because you didn't show your id"

me: "yes i did. you wanna see it too?  here..."

*pulled out all my forms of id as 3rd guard approaches

sg2: "i was told you used foul language and need to leave"

me: "yea, i told the guy he was going to feel like an asshole when i realized i was 26"

sg3 laughs, sg2 frowns

sg3: "you'll need to leave"

me: "for just tonight or forever"

sg3: "just tonight"

me: "whatever, this is dumb! I guess you have to escort me out?"

sg2: "yea, but he cant we have to wait for someone else"

me: "oh my god, im a real threat, gonna cause some real damage"

sg3l aughs, sg2 frowns

as im waiting i call brandy and tell her the story.  i then call my aunt.  in the meantime another sg has joined the operation.  this makes four sg to handle one person.

on the phone with aunt:

me: "i should cause some real damage so i get kicked out for a good reason."

aunt: "you need to call channel 12 news or 6 or something.  want me to yell at him? hold the phone out ill yell dumb fuck at him"

me: "that'd really get me in trouble, more than calling him an asshole"

sg2: "you better tell my supervisor that"

me: "excuse me, i am having a phone conversation please stay out of it.  im going to go over there where you won't listen. don't worry im not going to leave, just stand over there"

sg2 glares

*still talking to aunt when a fifth sg shows up, but he's wearing a white uniform.  uh-oh, guess they called their boss to handle the out of control girl....haha

*end phone convo

sg5: "so tell me what happened, i havent been told anything, i was just told to come down here"

*sg3 approaches

me: "yea right, im sure they told you what happened.  whatever." 

*recount the story, making sure to point out i didnt call him an asshole but suggested he was going to feel like one, and the fact my aunt told me to call him a dumb fuck but that'd get me in real trouble.

sg3 and sg5 laugh.

sg5: "so you showed him your id"

me: "yes"

sg5: "well you can go or stay"

me: "i'd like to stay and do what i came here to do"

sg5: "ok"

*walk away laughing and shaking my head.

saw sg1 later and he glared and i smiled.

i can see the finish line

there must be something wrong with me. i get so tired i cant sleep.

breakdown:

-two 3-7 pg papers to write after reading approx. 200 pgs of text. due next fri.

-student teaching until june 13th

-life guard training for 3 wkdends in a row starting next week

-internship starts same week as my last week of student teaching

-mikeyfuckyou comes to mke june 13th

-patrick and me go on a va-ca june 14th and 15th

THEN i can hang out like norms.  hopefully.  i will be working 50 or so hrs a week, but i'm a superstar and can handle it. right???

perfect timing.

i was walking with my tues/thurs kids at the urban ecology center.

we just finished dissecting the reasons i'm vegan, they were very responsive and i even became a vegan mentor to one girl who has been vegetarian for 6 yrs but has yet to make the leap to veganism.

we approached a group of high school boys shoveling dirt. shirts off. trying to look buff and cool.

one says to another:
"what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?"
"i dont know"
"i dont have a ferrari in my garage"

perfect timing.

limits

"you should only have to clean up other's people shit twice in one day"

very very true.

so that is why after the woman's toilet at work overflowed for the second time in a half hour I made an "out of order" sign, hung it on the door and left the mess to be cleaned up later.

i thought i could have only one commitment come june 13th, but unfortunately my internship won't pay enough and i'll have to keep working.

nights like last night remind me why i sometimes love my job.  the crew split up into team fart (fernando and rambunctious taylor) and team gooney wieners.  there was a chugging contest, if i won bluegrass music would not be played at closing for the next 5 shifts, if my competitor won bluegrass would be played 2 of the next 5 closing shifts.

"did you know jesus died wearing a loin cloth"

Probably shouldn't share this.

I'm sure this will embarrass him, but whatever.

This is love:

I <3 CJB cause she makes everyday better cause she is the best thing ever for me.

Perfect.

That explains things.

Bits and Pieces.

i told my papa (basically my dad) that i got an internship at the urban ecology center. 

his response: what's the plan for after that?

maybe that is why i never think my accomplishments are good enough.

i told my boss at alterra i got the internship.

his response: great! (hugs me) congratulations!!

i'm not upset that my boss gave me more encouragement and showed more pride than my papa, it just explains a lot.

********

i went to moct last night to see a super rad dj.  well, two super rad dj's.

the event was sponsored by an alcohol company.  so the entire night i had random very attractive and very slutty girls offering me shots.  while ordering a drink for a friend i had one girl offer me a shot.  i was already buying a drink, why try and give me more!!!

having free liquor being shoved in my face all night and watching others take shot after shot and chug beer after beer made me really uneasy.

i couldn't dance without being bumped into or rubbed against or getting my shoes stepped on.

two different people came up to me and asked me if i was drinking and then wanted to discuss what happened to me that i've decided not to drink.  it's fine to talk about, but i was already overwhelmed.

it just wasn't as fun as it usually is.  maybe i'm over the bar scene completely, even when i just go to dance and listen to some rad rad dj's.  watching people get wasted and then knowing most of them will drive home makes me sick.  i don't want to be a part of it anymore.

*******

since my declaration of never drinking and driving again, i think i've affected a few of my friends.  in the past couple days i've been allowed to drive my friends very nice car safely home after going out (even though they only had a couple drinks themselves, they just respect me and my decision).  I also had a friend tell me she is only having a couple drinks, and then stopping at midnight so by 2am when the bar closes she can drive home sober.

it makes me happy to know people take me seriously and respect me.  it also makes me happy to know they have made the choice to be more responsible when it comes to drinking and driving simply because i have made that choice.

goals update

Run

I've kinda given up on this one.  I'm just too busy with the end of the semester quickly approaching.  Maybe once college is done in a month and only have to student teach I'll have time, but then I won't be able to use the gym on campus.  But I have been riding my bike more, so that kinda makes up for it.

Food

Good! Grocery shopping has been successful.  I still eat too much candy, but I'm pretty sure I always will.

Social

Good too!  I actually had the desire to hang out yesterday and leave the house.  I went home for a family get together last sunday.  I've been out and active and having fun.

inapprop

i went out for a co-worker's birthday last night.

it was another challenge for me because everyone was drinking but me.  luckily i only was teased once fore drinking diet coke.

best part of the night was when we were talking about the movie knocked up and how i saw it in the theaters and i said

"imagine a one foot vagina"

that comment in itself is funny, but having a woman walk by at that exact moment, hear me, whip her head around with an appalled look on her face made the moment perfect.

i'm pretty good at saying inapprop things when taken out of context at the right moment.

(beth and brandy have experienced this with me at restaurants.)

done

I'm finished with student teaching in 50 school days.

I remember when the end was 8 months away.

I am very proud of myself for making it this far considering all the major life changes I've gone through this past year.

*getting into a serious relationship and then moving in with said boy

*starting medication

*trying to build a relationship with my mom, and possibly failing at it(b/c of her not me)

*trying to build a relationship with my dad

Balancing school, student teaching, work, a social life and a new relationship is tough, but I'm pretty sure I've successfully done it. (except maybe the social life part, but I'm getting better)

My first test

Last night my sister called me.

She told me that my mother talked to my aunt concerning mine and my sister's request for a lunch date Saturday.

When I asked my mom she said he might work that day. (bullshit)

When my mom talked to my aunt she said "who'd want to eat lunch at 3:30. (bullshit)

When my sister asked her last night she said "i'm really overwhelmed with everything right now, i'm not sure i'll have time" (bullshit)

The real reason: She knows my sister and I want to discuss the events of last saturday and our concern for her well being.  My mom has always avoided discussing serious topics with my sister and I.  If we "accidentally" begin to engage in a serious talk, she has been known to pass the phone off to her husband or say she "i cant handle you right now talk to______" and shut us out.

All my life i've found out about serious matters through my aunt or my cousins, never my mother.  Her excuse was always "i don't want you to worry".  But that can't work this time, and finally now that im an adult i realize she was never concerned with me worrying but she was more worried about herself having to engage in a serious talk.

Two big reasons this whole situation is bothering me:

1. i finally am making a big effort to build a relationship with my mother. over the past 9 months ive shared things with her that happened years ago, but never told her then because i didnt trust her.  ive relied on her when ive been upset to cheer me up and tell me it will be ok.  i would call her just to talk, and got excited to go home just to hang out.  but because of her reaction to what happened and her reaction to mine and my sister's request for a serious talk, my desire to continue working on our relationship is very diminished.  you can't have a relationship with someone that wants to bail when times get tough, and that is exactly what she is doing.

2. she keeps asking my sister if im calmed down or better.  she knows im upset with her but refuses to ask me if im ok or ask me if ive calmed down or even ask me why upset.

these were all the thoughts running through my head as my sister explained to me last night what my mom said to my aunt.

i was upset and crying.  i wanted to go home and cry and cry to patrick about how much my mom has hurt me.  i wanted to call my papa or aunt and ask them what to do.  

but i didn't.  i talked to my sister.  i expressed my feelings to her.  i calmed myself down, convincing myself calling others or crying to patrick wont accomplish anything but make them upset.  they don't have the answers, only i do.  so i wiped away the tears, walked into the apartment and pretended everything was ok. i down played the phone conversation with my sister and just said "my mom is being retarded."  and sure enough 15 minutes later i had forgotten about it and was laughing and joking with patrick.

im glad to know i can be posi.  im glad to see it does work, and people around me will be having more fun and feel happier themselves.  and im glad to know if something happens that upsets me (rightful so) i can move past it quickly, have a good day and be productive.

posi

I have that word tattoo'ed  on my hip.  It is short for positive.  

Posi is a lifestyle.  A lifestyle I was living at the time I got the tattoo.

But lately (going on for months now) I haven't been true to being posi.

My tendency to worry is overwhelming me and clouding my ability to complete day to day tasks.  It is isolating me from friends and family.  It is making my usually fun and enjoyable job a responsibility I dread.  It is infecting those I love.

That is why I am really going to try and follow the posi lifestyle once again.  When every I worry, I am going to mentally counter that worry with a reason why it isn't that big of a deal, a possible solution and something good in my life.

Strong emotions like sadness, anxiety, and high stress can effect those around you.  I've noticed it at work, in my classes and at home.  

I used to be really good at convincing people that "everything is ok" I never shared with others how I really felt, I was always happy. I've become extremely readable, when I'm upset everyone can tell (facial expressions, body language, energy level, and interest).  

I'm going to try really hard to return to my "everything is ok" attitude.  If something is wrong I'm not going to let it outwardly get me down and there by not let it effect those around me.  I realize this can be unhealthy for me, but again I will counter every worry/negative thought with a decreased emphasis on the importance, a possible solution, and a positive thought.

If something is really bothering me I will keep my venting for my journal, for my sister and for my therapist because those are the three people  that I feel comfortable asking to take on my emotional baggage.

If you think you should be on that list and wonder why you aren't, it is honestly better for both of us that you aren't.  You will soon see how much happier I will be and how much more fun we will have together.

goals update

1. run

did not run at all this past week.  i was really good at make up reasons i couldn't and shouldn't run every day i planned on running.  

BUT i did get my bike out friday and rode it for the first time in three months.  my "bike" muscles are a bit sore but im looking forward to more biking this summer.

2. hang out

i kept to all social commitments i made this past week.  i spent time with people other than patrick wed, fri, sat and sun.  keeping to social commitments or making them may prove to be a bit more difficult this week since i've decided to take an indefinite break from drinking.

3. food

i go grocer shopping tonight (first time since making this goal) which will be the real test.

A reaction

(**posted as a bulletin on my myspace and reposted here as a reminder**)

An event happened this weekend that has had multiple effects on me.

The most obvious will be my disinterest in the "bar scene" (though my interest previous to this event was very minimal) and a period of sobriety.

I've always been cautious of my drinking. I have grown up around alcoholics and never wanted to depend on alcohol to relax or have fun.

Saturday night my mother and step-father were driving home from a bar (obviously intoxicated themselves) and were hit by a drunk driver, leaving a different bar. All people involved are ok luckily.

My mother and step-father's reaction to the event made the dangers of drinking and driving a reality to me.

I know many people (including myself) who regularly drink and drive. I used to be very vocal and object to such an act. But over the past few years I've become much more relaxed. I think it is more socially acceptable for people living in Milwaukee to do such a thing compared to Madison where I lived during my "college drinking years".

I am once again making a personal vow to never ever drink and drive. Even if I've had one drink. I have decided to become the permanent DD.

I have decided to once again start voicing my disappointment and concern to my friends when they decide to drink and drive.

I am completely serious when I say call me and I will go to the bar or party you are at and drive you safely home. It doesn't matter where you are or how late it is, I don't want my loved ones putting themselves and others in danger.

My step-father and mother's car accident has forced several issues I have with my mother to surface. Issues that I have tried to ignore, but can no longer. I have some hard decisions to make. But I am taking the advice of my favorite person in the world and trying to focus on the positive and on my school work.

This may seem an inappropriate place to post such a personal event, but I don't feel like dragging myself through the emotions every time I have to explain why I am avoiding bars for awhile and why I am not drinking.

I also wanted to make people who do drink and drive realize how dangerous and close to home it is. My step-dad and mom were only ten minutes from home and they got into an accident. It doesn't matter where you are going or how many drinks you've had, it can happen to you and I don't think anyone wants to put the lives of others in jeopardy because they were to irresponsible.

Inspiration

This is where I got the idea for my next tattoo.

passing through unconscious states

I feel tired a lot.

(my sixth grade teacher taught me a lot is two words.  she also said i have horrible penmanship)

I feel tired when I wake up.  I just want to keep sleeping.  I feel tired now.  I feel tired around 2pm.  I feel tired at 6pm.  I feel tired at 9pm.

I typically get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night.  Usually it is restless, but it is sleep.

I wish there were shops for taking naps.  There would be comfortable cots with pillows and blankets.  Employees would wake you up when your nap was finished.  

Sometimes I try taking naps at coffee shops but I worry about drooling and someone stealing my stuff and not waking up on time.

I want a car just to drive home to take a nap.  I feel like that is an odd desire.

The reason for the picture of the daisies: when I lay in bed at night and my mind is racing and I can't fall asleep I picture a field of daisies.  I focus on the never ending field of pretty little white flowers.  I focus on the petals, or the bright yellow center.  It works every time, I'll fall asleep instantly.  I guess it's my "happy place".

siq tat bro

My students are slowly learning more about me.

Today they learned I'm vegan.  That didn't go over very well.

Then someone asked me if I had any tattoos.  Of course I lied and said I had 75.  

They then started speculating that I have gang banger tattoos and that's why I always wear long sleeves.

Maybe if I had an awesome tattoo like this fool I might show them.

goal update

1. run

-went running 3 times last week.  have intentions of going today.  debating going wed.  i'd have to go to class right after without a shower....should i but my classmates through the torture of sitting by me for 2.5 hrs smelling like a dirty gym sock?  

2. eating

-read ingredients of food i normally eat and found  a lot of it has high fructose corn syrup(hfcs).  guess i gotta start shopping at whole foods.  or maybe make my own food (ie hummus, spaghetti sauce, etc).  the only thing difficult about my new fascination with hfcs is patrick is on the opposite food eating spectrum and finding restaurants and a grocery store where we both can be satisfied is sometimes difficult.

3. hanging out.

-my thurs dinner plans ended up working out wonderfully.  i ditched fri pm, but made up for it sat pm and held to my plans (even though work was rough and i was crabby).  i actually had one of the best nights in awhile.  made some good connections with semi distant friends.  

i'd say im doing well.   

reason #23 why patrick is awesome

situation: about 11:30pm and i have to wake up at 4:30am (work at 5:30am) and am attempting to go asleep.

p: hun, hun....

c: what?

p: i drank too much pibb.

c: how many?

p: uh, 6.

c: oh great...haha.  i gotta sleep.

p: you never want to talk to me anymore.

c: yes i do, just not when i have to wake up at 430am

quiet.....one minute later patrick puts his hand on my face.

c:hun, i'm trying to sleep.

p:what? oh....i thought that was my face. 

c:you wouldn't have to reach over to put your hand on your own face.

p:yes i would. you're crabby

c:i love you, but unless you want me to be crabby tomorrow you need to take one for the team and let me sleep.

sometimes we seem completely perfect for each other.

goals

1.  run.  

last time i was in madison it was during the iron man competition in september.  i decided then that i wanted to run a 5k in the spring/summer.  i was doing well, running a few times a week and then it got cold and motivation left.  since it is officially spring i decided to start running again.  three times this week already.  i'm at 10 min. miles, my goal is 8min miles.

2. hang out.

i havent been social in months.  too many months.  i used to spend every free moment with someone else doing something or doing nothing, didn't matter as long as i wasn't alone.  then last summer started and i had zero time.  between school full time and work full time, i had no social life.  it just continued into fall and then again it got cold and motivation left.  but even with warmer temps, i still have no desire to hang out.  it is weird, i don't feel like myself.  but i want to hang out, i have awesome amazing friends and i would honestly rather spend time with them than sit at home alone watching movies.

3. eat more responsibly.

being vegan forces me to read the labels of everything.  i've started to realize how most of the ingredients i can't pronounce.  if i can't pronounce it (or at least know what it is) then i don't want to eat it.  and what the fuck is up with high fructose corn syrup? why is it in bread? why is it in everything? i don't want to eat that either. of course ill have exceptions (i.e. most candy and corn nuts) but i'll make an honest attempt.

i'll update on my progress in achieving my goals.  wish me luck.

Hi, I'm uncomfortable.

I wish I was aggressive. I wish I could stand up for myself sometimes.

Situation:

Yesterday I was sitting at the bus stop on the corner of Locust and Oakland.  A very busy intersection with a lot of opportunities to people watch.

I was on the phone with Patrick, resting my elbow on my knee and my chin on my palm blabbing on about my day.  I was absently mindedly gazing at the Subway across the street when there was suddenly a man blocking my view.

He was 6'1" or 6'2", had a large beer belly.  He was wearing a white Atomic Records t-shirt, but his large, hairy belly was poking out the bottom of the shirt.  He had a brown suit coat over the t-shirt and khaki pants.  His hair was shoulder length, dirty and barely contained under a neon green ski cap.  He had large plastic framed glasses on and was holding a camera up to his face.

I glance up at him and realize he was attempting to take my picture.  He exchanged no words with me, just stood in front of me and made awkward noises as I attempted to hide my face with my hand.  I tried to make it look like I was rubbing my forehead, but I'm pretty sure he could tell what I was doing.

After about thirty seconds he shuffled away , slowly following and older couple he apparently knew.  He looked back and caught me staring at him, and again attempted to take my picture, but I turned my head away. 

The entire time I kept thinking why don't I just ask him what the fuck is he doing and tell him he can't take my picture.  

I'm a sissy.

Latest Obsessions

1.  The x-files.  Patrick and I decided since neither of us do anything socially (go to bars, have fun outside the comfort of our home)  we could spend the money on complete collection of x files.  All the seasons, plus the movie, and a sweet poster.  We watched the first two episodes last night.....hopefully we'll be done in August.
2.  Guacamole!!!  Damn this shit is great.  And when you eat it with tostitos scoops you can really load your chip with green gooey goodness.
3.  Nada Surf.  Thanks to the generosity of Erin Gorski  I now own "Lucky".  I listen to it at least once a day.  Boy have they come a long way since Popular.  I saw them open for some band at The Globe East (remember that small east side MKE venue???) and all people did was yell Popular and boo when they would play any other song.  

4.  Tofutti cuties!  I can't get enough of these snack size sandwiches.  I wish they were gigantic sized.

roller coaster

I feel like my life has extreme ups and downs that last minutes or sometimes days.  I wish it were less extreme and I'd feel more in control.

Timeline

Let's break down the next four months of my life.

March 14-16 Barista Competition held by Alterra in MKE!!! lots of coffee nerds in one building = fun fun fun!! (promise)

March 16th Brandy back in MKE!

March 17-21 UW-MKE spring break. except my professors still making us go to class. 

March 20th tax return deposited! tattoos and dunks!

March 21st-28th MPS spring break.

March 23rd Beef's bday

March 24th Mom's bday

April 11th Hanson with Em

May- nothing, what the fuck? let's plan something!

June 10th-12th MPS finals.

June 13th done student teaching!!!!!!

What then? Not sure.

Maybe vacation to North Carolina with a crew in June or July.

Find a "real" job? Maybe....haha.

Spend my life at Alterra with lines of 20+ ppl for 8 hrs straight?  Sounds great!

Congrats!

I was sitting in Alterra, lurking myspace.  (suprised??)  

A grandpa aged man walked up to me and stood about two feet away and stared at me.

I thought he was going to ask me why I kept looking at him earlier, which was because I was trying to figure out if he had a lazy eye...seriously.

Instead he says:

GM: "I'd like to congratulate you on having jeans without any rips or tears or holes or anything in them."

me: "My pants?"

GM: "Yea."

me: laughs "Thanks"  (thinking: was that old dude checking out my ass?!)

more prepared

You'd think after years of living in WI, the people of Wisconsin would be a little more prepared when it came to winter/snow.

Ridiculous things I've seen this winter:

-people thinking a hooded sweatshirt is a sufficient winter coat (myself included)

-girls in heels with more than a foot of snow on the ground

-using a license plate/cd as a snow/ice scraper for your car

-wiping off only driver side portion of windshield, leaving side windows and back window covered in snow. As well as leaving at least a foot of snow on hood/roof/trunk of car.

"you shouldn't be a teacher"

today one of my students told me i shouldn't be a teacher.

she said i'm not a "people person"

she may have been reacting to my statement earlier when i told her 

"if she wants to keep talking she can go to the office and talk to the administrators the rest of the hour"

maybe.....

then she came up to me after class and apologized for talking and being mean.

reason #12 i will never eat meat

i was trying to think of things i'm sure of in life.

and i came up with a small list of people i'm sure i'll always love.

but really the only thing i can be sure of in life is that i will never eat meat.  and this is reason #12 i'll never eat meat again the rest of my life.  i'll never have a tape worm.

growing up

sometimes the thought of never again being able to have my hair cut into a mohawk scares me more than it should.  it makes me feel old and like a real grown up.

i feel domesticated

a history. 

june. go to a movie.  

"my legs are so hairy! i really should've shaved them if i was going to wear these pants"

july. "i'm going to be gone an entire week! this is the longest we've been apart in a month. will you miss me?"

"no."

"liar!!"

august. take a break.  

"you need to prove to me how much you like me."

"how?"

"i don't know."

september.  happy birthday!!!  

"you aren't allowed to get me anything for my birthday."

october.

"this is _____." 

"nice to meet you"

"are you cara's boyfriend?"

"no"/"yes"

november. take a break.

"i'm not very good at this.  don't expect anything to be different"

"all i expect from you is honesty and faithfulness"

december. 

"i don't want to be here"

"you need to give it a chance. he's trying"

"but he doesn't even know me. i cry everyday!"

january. move in together after knowing each other for six months.

"you have so much crap!"

"everything has sentimental value"

"what value does this purse have?"

february. our own apartment. 

buy furniture together. 

do his laundry.

ride to school every morning.

"i want to take care of you"

one sided fight

I went to MOCT saturday.  I went to dance, have fun, hang with friends, support friends.

I didn't expect to get in a one sided fight.

A lady as standing on the dance floor.  I bumped into her while dance.  She gave me a dirty look so I told her to move.  She gave me another dirty look so I told her to "get the fuck out of the way".

It is the equivalent of standing in a mosh pit at a show and getting pissed at everyone running into you.

She gets in my face and Brandy steps between us.  Words are exchanged.  People stop and stare.  Some ready to fight.  I keep yelling: "Hater! Fuck the haters!!"  I brush my shoulder off at her and continue to dance.

Brandy joins me.  Suddenly I'm falling forward because I've just been punched in the back of the head.

thinking: What the fuck! I don't want to fight anyone. I don't need a black eye. I don't need to cause a scene.

Brandy again steps in between the girl and I.  

Brandy: "Don't fucking touch her again, I'll get you kicked out so fucking fast"

Girl: "She pushed me!"

Brandy:"I don't fucking care! Don't touch her."

Thinking it is over, Brandy again joins me in dancing. 

Girl, not finished with me.  She "dances" me 10 feet up against a wall.  I stand with my hands raised kinda laughing kinda glaring. 

Brandy again gets in between us.  Again people stop and stare.  Again Brandy tells the girl to back the fuck off.  

Finally over.  

That girl probably picked a fight with the worst person in the bar.  Half the people there were my friends, I know half the employees, and anyone I don't know, my friends know.  She basically picked a fight with the entire bar.  

lay on the ground and cry

At what age does it stop being acceptable to lay on the ground and cry when you don't want to do something?

I watched a four year old boy lie face down on the cement floor at Alterra because he didn't want to leave.  His mom grabbed him by the waist and attempted to stand him on his feet.  He just crumpled to the floor again, face down not moving.

She tempted him with a cookie, and finally just picked him up and carried him to the car.

drink coffee

I fell asleep student teaching today.

Wait.

I wasn't actually teaching.

In fact.  There were no students in the classroom at all.  The teacher wasn't there either.

From 9am until 10am I'm alone in the room.  I usually read a book. 

 Today I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I put my head down and 10 minutes later woke up to the loud speaker announcing all yellow buses have arrived and teachers can now take attendance.

I'm glad that woke me up and not a teacher or a student.  

Conclusion:

I need to start drinking coffee in the morning.

I'm 26yrs old

I'm 26yrs old and I don't know how to ask for help.

I wish that sledding were enough

I just finished reading this book.  I think it is my third time reading it.  I have given both copies away and this time Brandy said we could share her copy.  

I get in moods where I have to read a book.  It happens with this book, The Bell Jar, 1984, and Catcher in the Rye.  It becomes an obsession and I have such a strong desire to read a book that if I don't appease it, I become frustrated and irritable.

Do you always think this much (....)?

Yea.  Is that bad?

Not necessarily.  It's just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.

rain check

I'm pretty sure odd/difficult/annoying/crack head customers are attracted to me.

It throughly amuses me, the interactions I have, so I will share them.

The bakery messed up the raspberry scone batter so we didn't get any.

A woman approaches and orders one without realizing we don't have any (because the bakery messed up the batter for that day).

me:Sorry we don't have any raspberry scones.  There was a mishap in the bakery

customer:Oh no!

me:Oh...not like that. thinking:Maybe "mishap" was a bad word to use. They just messed up the batter or something.(holding up piece of paper from the bakery for the customer to see that informs us they regret any inconvenience this may cause....I'm sure they didn't have this in mind)

customer:Well do I get a rain check?

me: (knowing what she means but hoping that's not what she really means because it is a rather ridiculous request)What do you mean?

customer:Well what do you usually do when you run out of something you normally have?

me:Apologize??

A rain check?!  If you go to the grocery store and they are out of your favorite kind of bread, do they give you a rain check there? NO! If you go to a clothing store and they don't have your size pants, do they give you a rain check there? NO!  So please explain to me lady why the fuck would we give you one here?  Out of the kindness of our hearts?  Sorry you're looking at the wrong person.

H.S.

Lately when I'm watching tv or a movie and there is a scene in a high school I become uneasy.  I picture myself in that scene and imagine all that could go wrong.

I haven't even started student teaching and I already am extremely fearful.

Sometimes I don't feel ready for life.

random thoughts

-my eye hurts. i should call my doc and see why my contacts i ordered over 3wks ago aren't here yet.

-im not meant to dress nicely.  today i stepped in snow, then attempted to shake the snow off my foot, forgetting my shoes easily come off.  shoe went flying into middle of intersection, i then had to walk five feet with no shoe on. with no chance to go home before work i bought a 10dollar pair of socks in despiration.

-i got "hit on" when walking into the h.s. im student teaching at.  this is going to be a very very long 5months.

-listening to girl talk always makes things better (even having a wet/cold foot)

-my phone never has reception. never ever.  i hate tmobile and want a new cell provider.

-i love my macbook and ipod and sister and friends and boyfriend.

-boring night at work for sure.  but tomorrow no work or student teaching crap. just a dumb college class.

xoxox.

carajean.

Reason #46 I sometimes question my mental stability

Laying in bed last night I turn to Patrick and ask him:

me: Wanna hear me make the sound of a raccoon?

This question came out of nowhere.  Well not to me.  There was a whole series of thoughts previous to this question, I just didn't share them with Patrick. 

P: Sure  

me:(make random screechy noises with my mouth and nibble motions inches from his faice)

P: (stares at me for a few seconds then turns to continue watching Anchorman)

me:(laughs)Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me

P:Sometimes? I'm pretty sure it's all the time.  I have a feeling you're gonna do that kind of stuff when you're 50

me: Probs

Future Plans

Pregnancy

I don't understand the desire to become pregnant.  Woman who find their only purpose in life is to further populate the already overly populated planet confuse and slightly anger me.  We all know we've reached our carrying capacity some of us just choose to ignore this by popping them out over and over again.

I know, I wouldn't be here if my mom had the same mentality I did (which I am told she was the one who swore she'd never have children, and ended having two).

But I'm just saying, having babies isn't my top priority, nor do I feel it is my responsibility as a woman to do so.  

A regular customer came into work a few days ago and I noticed for the first time she was pregnant, very very pregnant.  

me: I didn't know you were pregnant.

pregnant customer: Me neither until the sixth month.

me:Wow! Well congratulations.

pregnant customer:Heh....thanks....

The biggest reason I am afraid of having children is I won't know what to do.  I am so critical of myself and always want things to work out a certain way and be perfect, that I could never handle all the responsibility of raising a child, of molding and shaping a person's life.  I can attribute much of who I am today to my mom.  I'm not sure I want someone to say that about me.

Obsessions

I get on kicks.  Current obsessions:

1. Sour watermelon candy.  I eat it just about every day and have tricked my friends into liking them.

2.  Colored socks!  They are way more expensive than white socks.  But since getting all black chucks(thanks Patrick) I've found that white socks look ultra lame.  Plus they don't look "dingy" and my only new year's resolution was to get rid of all my old socks (thanks to Emily's inspiration...or should I say teasing).

3. Medium, 2 shot, honey/vanilla soy lattes.  I've had two today and hope to have a third.  I've decided if school doesn't work out, I'll either become the best barista in the world or the best dj in the world.

4.  Juno soundtrack.  Patrick, Brandy, and all my co-workers agree that I am obsessed with this cd.

My Favorite

I like this boy tons.

We have lots of fun together. He adores my goofy side and makes sure I
take care of myself.

He makes me smile and laugh and my heart is happy.

i just wanna dance

I love dancing.

Not girl booty dancing where the girl just prances around in her short dress/skirt and high heels, drink in one hand. an attempted sexy look on her face, and hopes that some random bro would dry hump her from behind.

I take dancing seriously.  

I go out almost every saturday where my friend dj's.

I am typically joined by friends Brandy and Emily.

Every time I go out someone says something to me.  They either tell me how I'm a great dancer or tell me they love watching me dance (yea kinda creepy) or compliment my shoes.  

Best incidents while dancing:

-drunk Milwaukee girl asking Brandy and I for dance lessons.  You guys are such great dancers!!! Can you teach me how to dance??  

Brandy: Uh....(nervous laugh)....uhh....

-Brandy and I are dancing, two bros approach us.  Typically we dance away from bros because they just wanna touch our boobs or butts and can't dance for shit.  But these two were different.

Bro: It's my birthday will you please dance with me?!

Bro#2We see you guys here every Saturday and have always wanted to dance with you guys, but I'm not sure we can keep up

Me: Probs not

Bro#2:Come on....it's his birthday...

Me:Is that bubblemint??

Bro#2:Yea.

Me:We'll dance if we can have gum.

Bro#2Ok(hands me and brandy gum and dancing begins at a very safe distance....after twenty seconds both realize they are too drunk and too lame to be able to keep up and walk away)

-In chicago random dude comes up to me.  I don't care who you are, but tonight you are the belle of the ball

-Party friend approaches me and yells over the music You are famous for your dance moves!!

Me:What?

Party friend:Come on you know you are!! Like everyone knows you because of how you dance

Me:Uh...(nervous laughter)....whatever....(nervous laughter)

ok ok ok....I sound cocky right? But seriously I know I can out dance almost anyone.  

Last night I involuntarily engaged in a dance off with a girl that wore van slip ons, flared jeans and a short sleeved hooded sweatshirt to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's song, Good Vibrations. She was pretty good, but after dancing with her for 10 seconds I had her moves memorized.

If you don't believe me, you can see for yourself.

Hi, how can I help you?

I've worked in the customer service industry since I was 17 and I've always hated it.

People are assholes and treat employees like servants.  They are demanding and don't tip.

Despite the fact that I have terrible customer service skills, I get promoted to a manager position in every job I've had.  (Except two jobs where I denied the opportunity to be promoted)

Every time I work I have an encounter with either a very annoyed or very strange or very demanding customer.  My reaction to these customers is never a "customer friendly" reaction. I will typically act extremely aggravated or "bitchy" as one customer called me.  The expectations of some people are so ridiculous and I have a hard time pretending to care.  

My most recent customer interaction was with a woman very upset that her coffee was cold.

lady: (walks up to counter sets two mugs down ) my coffee is cold.

me: (thinking: maybe if you didn't put so much damn milk in your coffee they wouldn't be cold)

Well it was brewed recently

lady: (sticks one finger in each of the cups and then dramatically wipes them on her pants) This was brewed recently?

me:(thinking:Holy fuck lady! You're a nut job. Thanks for displaying how cold the coffee is by shoving your own fingers in the cups)Yea, like twenty minutes ago.  I can brew new coffee if you want but it will take about ten minutes

lady: Do you want to feel?

me: (thinking: Seriously?? You want me to put my fingers in your coffee???  It's ok, I think you are a dramatic crazy woman that likes everything your way and probably is used to gas station hazelnut coffee that is why you put so much damn milk and sugar in your coffee) Ma'am, I'm not putting my fingers in your coffee.  I'll just brew new coffee and let you know when it's ready

lady: Thanks (walks away with the mugs)

me: (thinking: Now she is going to continue to drink her cold coffee that she just immersed her finger in?  Fucking nut job)

  

tomorrow too late

Longest 36 hours of my life.

Asleep at 12:30am.  Not falling asleep, but passing out.

Four sparks can induce "silly and fuzzy thoughts" but also comas.

Sleep doesn't last long.  Alcohol wears off.  Caffeine going strong.

Awake at 2am.  Drink water.  Toss and turn.

Awake at 8:30am.  Drink water.  Pee.  Toss and turn.

Awake at 10am.  Give up on sleep.

Fight the hangover.  Eat toast.  Drink emergen'c and bottled water.  Waiting for the nausea and headache and exhaustion.

Chinese good helps keep the symptoms at bay.

Lie on Erin's couch.  Shut eyes for 5 minutes.  Watch tv.  Shut eyes for 10 minutes.  Watch tv.

Take a nap.  Lay staring at the ceiling for 15minutes.  Give up on sleep.  Pack.  Finish a book.

It's Friday night.  Going out despite a 6am flight.

Get ready.  I change my shirt.  Wait for the other girls.  Change clothes.  Debate on the cuteness of an outfit.  Make-up.  Hair.  Change again.  Make-up.

Friends come over.  Get in car.  Sit in silence while everyone is chattering about "so and so" and "so and so" and "so and so"...

At a bar full of people I usually make fun of.  Low cut shiny shirts.  Orange skin.  Pink shimmery lips.  Popped collars.  K-swiss.

Dollar drinks.

Cranberry vodka.  Cranberry vodka.  Cranberry vodka.

Dance.  Elbow a Jersey girl.  Can't get into a fight here, I don't have any back up and I'm not drunk enough to not take it seriously.

1am ride home not even buzzed.  Shirt and pants stick to my skin with sweat.

Shower.  1:30AM.  Sleep for an hour.

Toss and turn.

What if my alarm doesn't go off?

What if Erin's alarm doesn't go off?

What if my flight is delayed?

Did I pack everything?

What if Patrick isn't happy to see me?

Call me at 3am.  Why?  Because I have a 6am flight home.  Ok.

3:05am.  Wake up Erin.

It is pouring rain.  Feel guilty.

Lost.  Frantically searching for directions on the sidekick.  Stupid t-mobile.

Airport.  Hugs and I love yous.

Flight cancelled.  I hate my life.  Collapse on suitcase and cry.

Woman behind me is swearing and yelling.

Plan.  Take a bus at 6:45am to a different airport.  Take a 8:55 flight to Atlanta.  1hr layover.  1:15pm flight to Milwaukee.  Arrive at 2:17pm.

Get on bus.  Fall asleep.

Get on plane.  Fall asleep before it takes off.

Wake up.  Hand is tingling.  Can't feel my fingers.

Wake up.  Neck hurts.

Wake up.  Plane is landing.

Flight delayed.  Sit on floor of Atlanta airport listening to Eisley and drinking water.

Get on plane.  Fall asleep before it takes off.

Wake up.  Woman next to me elbowed me.

Wake up.  Woman next to me kicked my foot.

Wake up.  Give up on sleep.  Read book.  Stare out window at Lake Michigan.

Plane just landed.

Fuck.

I can find my own ride home.

I'm here.  I have to work.  Where are you?

On the plane.

Where are you?

In the tube thing.

Tube thing?

Yea the thing that takes you from the plane to the building.

Where are you?

At baggage claim.

Gotta go.  I can't get my bag and talk.

Relief.  Smiles.  Kisses.  Hugs.