i'm angry

i know when i am angry/upset/worried/etc even before my brain knows.

my back feels hot and burned, like a sunburn.

it started once i started meds.  so weird.

it happened a couple times today.  once it was funny. once it was sad.

funny time:

i went to mayfair to buy a swimsuit.  i dont own one and need one to be lifeguard certified.

they have a dumb rule that after 6 you need to be 18 to go to the mall alone.

i am on the phone with brandy when a security guard asks me if i'm 18

me: "yes"

sg: "can i see some id?"

me: "no...im 26, seriously"

sg: "ma'am, can i see some id?"

me: "fine...but you're gonna feel like an asshole when you realize im 26"

shows him my license, walk away.

20 min later walk out of boston store.

stopped by a diff security guard who tells me i am not allowed in the mall.

me: "what?"

sg2: "i was told you aren't allowed in the mall and have to leave because you didn't show your id"

me: "yes i did. you wanna see it too?  here..."

*pulled out all my forms of id as 3rd guard approaches

sg2: "i was told you used foul language and need to leave"

me: "yea, i told the guy he was going to feel like an asshole when i realized i was 26"

sg3 laughs, sg2 frowns

sg3: "you'll need to leave"

me: "for just tonight or forever"

sg3: "just tonight"

me: "whatever, this is dumb! I guess you have to escort me out?"

sg2: "yea, but he cant we have to wait for someone else"

me: "oh my god, im a real threat, gonna cause some real damage"

sg3l aughs, sg2 frowns

as im waiting i call brandy and tell her the story.  i then call my aunt.  in the meantime another sg has joined the operation.  this makes four sg to handle one person.

on the phone with aunt:

me: "i should cause some real damage so i get kicked out for a good reason."

aunt: "you need to call channel 12 news or 6 or something.  want me to yell at him? hold the phone out ill yell dumb fuck at him"

me: "that'd really get me in trouble, more than calling him an asshole"

sg2: "you better tell my supervisor that"

me: "excuse me, i am having a phone conversation please stay out of it.  im going to go over there where you won't listen. don't worry im not going to leave, just stand over there"

sg2 glares

*still talking to aunt when a fifth sg shows up, but he's wearing a white uniform.  uh-oh, guess they called their boss to handle the out of control girl....haha

*end phone convo

sg5: "so tell me what happened, i havent been told anything, i was just told to come down here"

*sg3 approaches

me: "yea right, im sure they told you what happened.  whatever." 

*recount the story, making sure to point out i didnt call him an asshole but suggested he was going to feel like one, and the fact my aunt told me to call him a dumb fuck but that'd get me in real trouble.

sg3 and sg5 laugh.

sg5: "so you showed him your id"

me: "yes"

sg5: "well you can go or stay"

me: "i'd like to stay and do what i came here to do"

sg5: "ok"

*walk away laughing and shaking my head.

saw sg1 later and he glared and i smiled.