That explains things.

Bits and Pieces.

i told my papa (basically my dad) that i got an internship at the urban ecology center. 

his response: what's the plan for after that?

maybe that is why i never think my accomplishments are good enough.

i told my boss at alterra i got the internship.

his response: great! (hugs me) congratulations!!

i'm not upset that my boss gave me more encouragement and showed more pride than my papa, it just explains a lot.

********

i went to moct last night to see a super rad dj.  well, two super rad dj's.

the event was sponsored by an alcohol company.  so the entire night i had random very attractive and very slutty girls offering me shots.  while ordering a drink for a friend i had one girl offer me a shot.  i was already buying a drink, why try and give me more!!!

having free liquor being shoved in my face all night and watching others take shot after shot and chug beer after beer made me really uneasy.

i couldn't dance without being bumped into or rubbed against or getting my shoes stepped on.

two different people came up to me and asked me if i was drinking and then wanted to discuss what happened to me that i've decided not to drink.  it's fine to talk about, but i was already overwhelmed.

it just wasn't as fun as it usually is.  maybe i'm over the bar scene completely, even when i just go to dance and listen to some rad rad dj's.  watching people get wasted and then knowing most of them will drive home makes me sick.  i don't want to be a part of it anymore.

*******

since my declaration of never drinking and driving again, i think i've affected a few of my friends.  in the past couple days i've been allowed to drive my friends very nice car safely home after going out (even though they only had a couple drinks themselves, they just respect me and my decision).  I also had a friend tell me she is only having a couple drinks, and then stopping at midnight so by 2am when the bar closes she can drive home sober.

it makes me happy to know people take me seriously and respect me.  it also makes me happy to know they have made the choice to be more responsible when it comes to drinking and driving simply because i have made that choice.