I feel tired a lot.(my sixth grade teacher taught me a lot is two words. she also said i have horrible penmanship)
I feel tired when I wake up. I just want to keep sleeping. I feel tired now. I feel tired around 2pm. I feel tired at 6pm. I feel tired at 9pm.
I typically get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. Usually it is restless, but it is sleep.
I wish there were shops for taking naps. There would be comfortable cots with pillows and blankets. Employees would wake you up when your nap was finished.
Sometimes I try taking naps at coffee shops but I worry about drooling and someone stealing my stuff and not waking up on time.
I want a car just to drive home to take a nap. I feel like that is an odd desire.
The reason for the picture of the daisies: when I lay in bed at night and my mind is racing and I can't fall asleep I picture a field of daisies. I focus on the never ending field of pretty little white flowers. I focus on the petals, or the bright yellow center. It works every time, I'll fall asleep instantly. I guess it's my "happy place".
3 comments:
the field of daisies is actually a pretty common image in "hypnotism." i believe it's a deeper state than the one i'm familiar with (and use). and it might explain why you're still tired because that type of relaxation isn't always relaxing. sam may know more about it. i know he saw a field of flowers when he was hypnotized in high school for his psychology class.
i see a park with an oak tree on the right and a path that splits, one end heading towards the woods and one to a pond. as my grandpa's alzheimers got worse and he eventually died, a bench showed up under the tree, facing the pond. when i'm in a certain sleep stage during rough moments, i meet my grandpa on that bench and tell him everything that's going on. it happens a lot when i feel i've made a mistake or need to make a big decision. he never answers me, i just talk at him and know that no matter what happens, i'll be alright and he'll always be around to talk to. i think it's a weird location for him to show up, a state i had previously been hypnotized in.
supposedly, the state of my pond is a good indication of my emotions. if it is small, i'm lacking confidence. if it is choppy or dark, i'm conflicted. and so on.
i don't really venture into the woods. my old therapist said that's an indication that i'm reluctant to take risks and so on. she said i'd whine at her when she'd try to get me to go in during our sessions.
did you stop any meds?
if so that is a withdrawl sign...
I can try to think of something else but it just automatically goes to that field.
and i haven't stopped the meds. still chugging along.
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