coffeeeee

If you don't drink coffee or have never worked in a coffee shop this post will not make sense.

Here are some of my favorite requests/questions from customers:

-Can I have a no foam cappuccino? (the whole point of a cappuccino is to have foam...so no you can't)

-Is there ice cream in the mocha shake? (shake usually implies ice cream)

-Can I have a small EXpresso? (it's ESpresso, and it doesn't come in sm, med, large.)

-Can I have a regular drink? (what's a regular drink?  you know a non-coffee drink...oohhh)

-How are your beans baked? (beans as in coffee beans are roasted, not baked fuck head)

Oh customers, how you amuse me.

i'm sneaky

i have one thing left to do for college.

write a 5-10pg paper on the importance of the nature of science.

i need to read articles from science journals circa 2004.  

went to the library, to find the journals.  one was missing, so i had the bright idea to look at the racks of books that needed to be put back.

i found it, but it was shoved in a middle shelf and the stacks were real close.  i could hear someone sorting more books in a room ten feet away and knew at any moment he/she could come out and find me "stealing" a book from their extremely organized racks.

i crouched down, my heavy messenger bag sliding off my shoulder and jerked me even further forward.  every second i was looking over my shoulder waiting for the book sorter to come out and find me.

i grasped the binding and tried to carefully pull it from the shelf.  it was so tightly packed in that it caused two other books to crash to the ground.  there was no way for me to easily put the fallen books back , so i left them on the ground.

i rule at breaking rules.

i'm angry

i know when i am angry/upset/worried/etc even before my brain knows.

my back feels hot and burned, like a sunburn.

it started once i started meds.  so weird.

it happened a couple times today.  once it was funny. once it was sad.

funny time:

i went to mayfair to buy a swimsuit.  i dont own one and need one to be lifeguard certified.

they have a dumb rule that after 6 you need to be 18 to go to the mall alone.

i am on the phone with brandy when a security guard asks me if i'm 18

me: "yes"

sg: "can i see some id?"

me: "no...im 26, seriously"

sg: "ma'am, can i see some id?"

me: "fine...but you're gonna feel like an asshole when you realize im 26"

shows him my license, walk away.

20 min later walk out of boston store.

stopped by a diff security guard who tells me i am not allowed in the mall.

me: "what?"

sg2: "i was told you aren't allowed in the mall and have to leave because you didn't show your id"

me: "yes i did. you wanna see it too?  here..."

*pulled out all my forms of id as 3rd guard approaches

sg2: "i was told you used foul language and need to leave"

me: "yea, i told the guy he was going to feel like an asshole when i realized i was 26"

sg3 laughs, sg2 frowns

sg3: "you'll need to leave"

me: "for just tonight or forever"

sg3: "just tonight"

me: "whatever, this is dumb! I guess you have to escort me out?"

sg2: "yea, but he cant we have to wait for someone else"

me: "oh my god, im a real threat, gonna cause some real damage"

sg3l aughs, sg2 frowns

as im waiting i call brandy and tell her the story.  i then call my aunt.  in the meantime another sg has joined the operation.  this makes four sg to handle one person.

on the phone with aunt:

me: "i should cause some real damage so i get kicked out for a good reason."

aunt: "you need to call channel 12 news or 6 or something.  want me to yell at him? hold the phone out ill yell dumb fuck at him"

me: "that'd really get me in trouble, more than calling him an asshole"

sg2: "you better tell my supervisor that"

me: "excuse me, i am having a phone conversation please stay out of it.  im going to go over there where you won't listen. don't worry im not going to leave, just stand over there"

sg2 glares

*still talking to aunt when a fifth sg shows up, but he's wearing a white uniform.  uh-oh, guess they called their boss to handle the out of control girl....haha

*end phone convo

sg5: "so tell me what happened, i havent been told anything, i was just told to come down here"

*sg3 approaches

me: "yea right, im sure they told you what happened.  whatever." 

*recount the story, making sure to point out i didnt call him an asshole but suggested he was going to feel like one, and the fact my aunt told me to call him a dumb fuck but that'd get me in real trouble.

sg3 and sg5 laugh.

sg5: "so you showed him your id"

me: "yes"

sg5: "well you can go or stay"

me: "i'd like to stay and do what i came here to do"

sg5: "ok"

*walk away laughing and shaking my head.

saw sg1 later and he glared and i smiled.

i can see the finish line

there must be something wrong with me. i get so tired i cant sleep.

breakdown:

-two 3-7 pg papers to write after reading approx. 200 pgs of text. due next fri.

-student teaching until june 13th

-life guard training for 3 wkdends in a row starting next week

-internship starts same week as my last week of student teaching

-mikeyfuckyou comes to mke june 13th

-patrick and me go on a va-ca june 14th and 15th

THEN i can hang out like norms.  hopefully.  i will be working 50 or so hrs a week, but i'm a superstar and can handle it. right???

perfect timing.

i was walking with my tues/thurs kids at the urban ecology center.

we just finished dissecting the reasons i'm vegan, they were very responsive and i even became a vegan mentor to one girl who has been vegetarian for 6 yrs but has yet to make the leap to veganism.

we approached a group of high school boys shoveling dirt. shirts off. trying to look buff and cool.

one says to another:
"what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?"
"i dont know"
"i dont have a ferrari in my garage"

perfect timing.