goal update

1. run

-went running 3 times last week.  have intentions of going today.  debating going wed.  i'd have to go to class right after without a shower....should i but my classmates through the torture of sitting by me for 2.5 hrs smelling like a dirty gym sock?  

2. eating

-read ingredients of food i normally eat and found  a lot of it has high fructose corn syrup(hfcs).  guess i gotta start shopping at whole foods.  or maybe make my own food (ie hummus, spaghetti sauce, etc).  the only thing difficult about my new fascination with hfcs is patrick is on the opposite food eating spectrum and finding restaurants and a grocery store where we both can be satisfied is sometimes difficult.

3. hanging out.

-my thurs dinner plans ended up working out wonderfully.  i ditched fri pm, but made up for it sat pm and held to my plans (even though work was rough and i was crabby).  i actually had one of the best nights in awhile.  made some good connections with semi distant friends.  

i'd say im doing well.   

reason #23 why patrick is awesome

situation: about 11:30pm and i have to wake up at 4:30am (work at 5:30am) and am attempting to go asleep.

p: hun, hun....

c: what?

p: i drank too much pibb.

c: how many?

p: uh, 6.

c: oh great...haha.  i gotta sleep.

p: you never want to talk to me anymore.

c: yes i do, just not when i have to wake up at 430am

quiet.....one minute later patrick puts his hand on my face.

c:hun, i'm trying to sleep.

p:what? oh....i thought that was my face. 

c:you wouldn't have to reach over to put your hand on your own face.

p:yes i would. you're crabby

c:i love you, but unless you want me to be crabby tomorrow you need to take one for the team and let me sleep.

sometimes we seem completely perfect for each other.

goals

1.  run.  

last time i was in madison it was during the iron man competition in september.  i decided then that i wanted to run a 5k in the spring/summer.  i was doing well, running a few times a week and then it got cold and motivation left.  since it is officially spring i decided to start running again.  three times this week already.  i'm at 10 min. miles, my goal is 8min miles.

2. hang out.

i havent been social in months.  too many months.  i used to spend every free moment with someone else doing something or doing nothing, didn't matter as long as i wasn't alone.  then last summer started and i had zero time.  between school full time and work full time, i had no social life.  it just continued into fall and then again it got cold and motivation left.  but even with warmer temps, i still have no desire to hang out.  it is weird, i don't feel like myself.  but i want to hang out, i have awesome amazing friends and i would honestly rather spend time with them than sit at home alone watching movies.

3. eat more responsibly.

being vegan forces me to read the labels of everything.  i've started to realize how most of the ingredients i can't pronounce.  if i can't pronounce it (or at least know what it is) then i don't want to eat it.  and what the fuck is up with high fructose corn syrup? why is it in bread? why is it in everything? i don't want to eat that either. of course ill have exceptions (i.e. most candy and corn nuts) but i'll make an honest attempt.

i'll update on my progress in achieving my goals.  wish me luck.

Hi, I'm uncomfortable.

I wish I was aggressive. I wish I could stand up for myself sometimes.

Situation:

Yesterday I was sitting at the bus stop on the corner of Locust and Oakland.  A very busy intersection with a lot of opportunities to people watch.

I was on the phone with Patrick, resting my elbow on my knee and my chin on my palm blabbing on about my day.  I was absently mindedly gazing at the Subway across the street when there was suddenly a man blocking my view.

He was 6'1" or 6'2", had a large beer belly.  He was wearing a white Atomic Records t-shirt, but his large, hairy belly was poking out the bottom of the shirt.  He had a brown suit coat over the t-shirt and khaki pants.  His hair was shoulder length, dirty and barely contained under a neon green ski cap.  He had large plastic framed glasses on and was holding a camera up to his face.

I glance up at him and realize he was attempting to take my picture.  He exchanged no words with me, just stood in front of me and made awkward noises as I attempted to hide my face with my hand.  I tried to make it look like I was rubbing my forehead, but I'm pretty sure he could tell what I was doing.

After about thirty seconds he shuffled away , slowly following and older couple he apparently knew.  He looked back and caught me staring at him, and again attempted to take my picture, but I turned my head away. 

The entire time I kept thinking why don't I just ask him what the fuck is he doing and tell him he can't take my picture.  

I'm a sissy.

Latest Obsessions

1.  The x-files.  Patrick and I decided since neither of us do anything socially (go to bars, have fun outside the comfort of our home)  we could spend the money on complete collection of x files.  All the seasons, plus the movie, and a sweet poster.  We watched the first two episodes last night.....hopefully we'll be done in August.
2.  Guacamole!!!  Damn this shit is great.  And when you eat it with tostitos scoops you can really load your chip with green gooey goodness.
3.  Nada Surf.  Thanks to the generosity of Erin Gorski  I now own "Lucky".  I listen to it at least once a day.  Boy have they come a long way since Popular.  I saw them open for some band at The Globe East (remember that small east side MKE venue???) and all people did was yell Popular and boo when they would play any other song.  

4.  Tofutti cuties!  I can't get enough of these snack size sandwiches.  I wish they were gigantic sized.

roller coaster

I feel like my life has extreme ups and downs that last minutes or sometimes days.  I wish it were less extreme and I'd feel more in control.