two in one day!!

New Fave Song

New Fave thing to laugh at/impersonate.

long time no see

i heart customers.

i heart them because they make me laugh.

today  a small dog was tied up outside.  happens often. we dont allow dogs in the cafe (big surprise?  no we serve food.)

two middle aged women (obvs with lots of time since they were in the cafe at 1pm and NOT at work) came up to the counter concerned for the puppy who was shivering. (doubtful since i was just out there 10min prior and the lil dude seemed alright to me)

i explained there wasnt much to be done because the police dont handle animals left unattended unless it is really really cold or really really hot.

they decided to take it upon themselves and ask every person in the cafe if it is their dog outside and tell them to take care if it because the poor puppy is cold.

one of the customers actually said

"imagine if you or i were that poor dog....left alone in the cold"  she stares at me with a very concerned look waiting for me to share in her disgust and concern.  

sorry lady i just can't.  the dog seems fine to me.  sure it is only 55, but dude it's a dog it always has a coat on!

while the one customer is on a man hunt for the owner of the dog, they other customer lady asks me for a sweatshirt from the lost and found.  i walk away rolling my eyes, muttering jesus christ.

i grab her a yellow zip up fleece.

imagine a 15lb dog wearing a large men's yellow zip up fleece.  ri-dic-u-lous!

this story has a happy ending because the owners of the dog were found and kindly returned the lost yellow zip up fleece with no mention of the incident to me.  thank fucking god!

custies say the darndest things

at register talking to a co-worker when a customer walks up.

me: what's the key to a long life?

co-worker: swimming

me: ahhhh

custie: and drugs.

me: i dont know about that.

custie: yup 

me: why don't you go down to the north ave bridge and ask a local crack head if drugs are the key to a long life, b/c im pretty sure they won't be living that long.

custie: crack is low end, im talking about high end drugs.

me: oh.

co-worker laughs and asks the custie what he wants.

 

********

this didn't happen to me but it happened to someone else at my work.  our fly sit. is o/c right now.  what do people expect. there is food sitting out all day, doors are constantly being opened and closed and the cafe is right on the lake! 

but no people expect there to be absolutely no flies.  dude, flies are a part of life! get over it.  if we weren't a society obsessed with germs and cleanliness maybe a couple flies wouldn't warrant bitching out a coworker.

the funniest thing a custie has said about the flies was from a middle aged female (they always complain).  she said she came to our cafe on her vacation and she is now spending it swatting flies.  she claimed "flies are ruining my vacation"  and asked my co-worker if she'd want to eat here under these conditions.

sorry lady, but we not only have to eat here, but we have to work here.  so chill i don't feel sorry for you.  

im never moving to a third world country

a water pipe broke near my work yesterday.

the city turned the water off last night around 11pm.

went to work this am at 6 prepared for the worse.  it was as bad as i thought.

we had to have coffee brewed at other cafes and someone drove it down.  we also had to have water and ice brought to us.

no bathrooms.  no hand washing.  no water to drink. 

it is like working at a factory in a third world country.  a sticky, coffee ground covered factory.

customers were difficult.  employees were frustrated and stressed.  the store was a complete mess at all times with empty coffee cambros (giant dispensers of liquid items), stacks of dirty dishes, sticky/coffee messes every where.

even after explaining  to customers why they couldn't have a mug for here or why they couldnt use the bathroom, they'd still ask for something that need water.....like a cup of ice water.

stupidity was at an all time high today.

general rules thrown out the window.

level of friendliness/politeness/concern for customer's satisfaction at an all time low.

i left work at 3 and all the city workers had done was dig a hole where the pipe broke and then cover the hole back up.  

looks like my fellow employees will have to do this all over again tomorrow.  

customers are funny

a co-worker of mine and i look very similar.  similar hair cut/color/style, both have gauged ears, freckles.  i guess we could pass as sisters.

more than once customers at our work have confused the two of us.  and called one by the wrong name, or claimed to have seen us somewhere we wouldn't be.

today was a pretty good one.  im standing next to her as a male customer orders coffee.

customer: are you two sisters?

me: yes

co-worker: no

me: twins.

customer: identical or fraternal?

me: identical.

customer: thought so.

a lot of you know the girl im talking about.  and i guess we could pass as sisters, but twins and identical at that? no f'ing way.

what's wrong with america?

someone very close to me has a mildly serious medical condition.  this person needs regular check-ups to monitor the condition.

unfortunately this person also has un-stable insurance available.  meaning companies are often changed, income status is often fluctuating, and coverage is changing.

i don't believe in the medical community.  i try to avoid antibiotics at all costs. i treat my self the most natural way i can for colds, the flu, allergies, etc.  i dont trust most doctors and think a lot of time they are ordering tests/medications for their own benefit(monetary or covering their ass).

a good example was when i saw a doctor for this awful cough i had for a couple weeks.  i only went because it would wake me up several times during the night.  the doctor told me i either had allergies or a cold and prescribed me medications for both.  i got neither.

this person real close to me had a check-up 2 and a half months ago.  it was discovered that a procedure was needed for the prevention of cancer.  this is the second time this person has needed this procedure.  

but because of our awesome medical system here in america this person has had to cancel insurance for a month, switch doctors, and switch insurance.  a clinic failed to inform them of the needed medical forms, forcing the cancellation of an appointment.  the "new" doctor wants to re-do the check up for her own records.  even though they had it done recently and it shows they are at high risk for cancer unless the procedure is done soon.

in the end this person will have to wait three months to get the procedure because of all the paper work that needs to be completed over and over again for the doctor's sake.  

what about our sake?  what about our safety?  when did doctors stop caring about the health of their patients and start caring only about money?

that is why doctor's should be paid less. professions in the health field and law can draw the wrong people.  it can lure those who are hungry money into a career that needs people who are in it for the good of others, not themselves.

IF this person ends up having cancer I don't know what I will do.  But I will take serious action.

I know you're busy

on register at work.  line of at least 20 people.  sunday always means stupid customers.  here is an especially asshole encounter.

customer: i know you're busy, but how does that thing in your nose work?

me: *smiles and says nothing (are you fucking serious? how rude can you be?)

customer: it looks like a staple, does it go all the way through?

me: yea, it's a staple.(yea jackass, i put a staple through my nose)

customer: is it inside your nose?

me: yea, it's horseshoe shaped.can we just stop talking about it?

customer2: it must hurt to take it in and out?

me: nope. if it hurt, do you think i'd have it?

customer: where's my iced tea?

me: at the end of the counter.where i already told you it would be.  nice button up tucked into your jeans, fucker.

this is def one of those times i wish it was socially acceptable to tell people "go fuck yourself" when they were acting like an asshole.